The Curse Of The Shaved Legs

With Halloween around the corner, I think it’s only fitting to talk about curses, starting with one of mine that just reared it’s ugly head.

Anytime I shave my legs, the reason for doing so will evaporate into thin air. It’s as if the universe senses I’m preparing for a ‘good time’ and is playing a cruel joke on me. Long story short – Shaved legs = No action.

Whether it's for a party or a pre-planned date, the moment the razor touches my legs, the entire day falls apart. The party guests are all couples, the only single guy shows ZERO interest, my date will fall suddenly ill (most recently) or decide never to speak to me again…

Tuesday morning I actually considered the curse, but shaved my legs anyway… and no more than 4 hours later, he’s deathly ill (man cold no doubt). Looks like I’ll be feeling up these bad boys myself, someone should.

All my future hookups need to know that if my legs are hairy it’s out of lust or love for them, not because I’m a lazy granola, but because I’m a desperately single 24 year old who can’t risk shaving my legs before an important evening with the opposite sex for fear that you will die or disappear.

This curse does comes with an upside: I have been known to consciously shave my legs to ensure I don't hookup with anyone I'll regret. And guess what - it works. 

This brings me to another dating curse: The moment I stop dating someone they somehow meet the person they marry. From a two-week fling to a 3 month escapade, they end up with their long term girlfriends, NAY, their wives. This has happened on 5 occasions. 2 of which are now married. I’m like the 'Good Luck Chuck' for men. Fella’s – if you are tired of dating around, date me. Sure you’ll have to put up with unshaven legs, but trust me, if my curses keep playing out this way, you’ll meet a smooth legged beauty in no time… as for me? I’ll be okay. I have my curses that keep me warm at night.

It's all just a bunch of hocus pocus...

-georgeelizabeth